When I first saw her a spark flew between us that felt like an earth-shattering explosion. A friend of mine introduced her to me. I wanted her badly, with every fiber of my being, and I told him so. We argued about her intensely, and I'm not sure I was even in full control of myself at the time. It was as if some flow or force was pushing me to do and say the things I did. I have no memory at all of what I said, but my feelings went beyond “I want her” and rose up to “SHE IS MINE!!!” I won the dispute, and without violence. He was gone and she was with me, and the feeling that accompanied that was almost orgasmic.
During the time we were together, I was never fully aware of the control I had over her. I never told her to do anything. I rarely had to ask her to do anything. She did what I wanted, frequently to my surprise, before I was fully aware of what I wanted.
Before her and after her I have had relationships with women who never quite connected with me the way she did. In the beginning of each, though, the encounters were erotic for me because I had the illusion of control for a short period of time. When the illusion wore off, so did the erotic connection, and along with it, communication. Of course, when communication dies, so does the relationship.
I know now that if I have a love interest in my life, I must control her and she must consent to that control. Without that, there is no erotic connection and nothing to feed the relationship, which will then shortly die.